Expectations are one-sided contracts

— of which the other knows nothing

Why managers are frustrated, employees are clueless — and how behavior-based competency descriptions can change that.

"Expectations are often one-sided agreements of which the other party is unaware." — Karlheinz Wolfgang

I see this regularly in my consulting work: A manager is frustrated. Employees aren't delivering what's expected. They lack commitment, take ownership, and don't treat deadlines as binding. The manager has "already said that several times." The employees, seemingly, are completely unaware of this.

This quote from Karlheinz Wolfgang describes in one sentence one of the most frequent areas of friction in leadership work — and it is frighteningly precise.

The problem has three levels

Level 1: The expectation exists only in the mind of the manager.

What is taken for granted internally has never been explicitly stated. Managers expect behavior they consider obvious—because it is obvious to them. For employees, it isn't. This blind spot is the root of almost all frustration.

Level 2: Appeals do not replace structure

When expectations are communicated, it often happens in the form of an appeal: "I would like more personal responsibility." "We need to become more reliable." The problem: Appeals describe a state, not a behavior. Employees hear this—and still don't understand what is specifically expected of them.

Even worse: Leaders often unconsciously promote the exact opposite of what they intend. Those who immediately provide the solution to every problem foster dependency instead of personal responsibility. Those who punish mistakes instead of treating them as learning opportunities cultivate risk aversion instead of ownership. This doesn't happen maliciously—it happens because the desired behavior isn't consistently reinforced.

Level 3: "I told you so" — the communication ladder

This is where a classic communication model comes into play: Lorenz's communication ladder. What is said is not necessarily what is heard. What is heard is not necessarily what is understood. What is understood is not necessarily what is retained. What is retained is not necessarily what is acted upon.

Simply expressing an expectation – even clearly and explicitly – doesn't mean it will be implemented in daily work and become a guiding principle. Managers systematically underestimate how much repetition, context, and concretization are needed before an expectation truly "takes root."

The solution: Behavior-based competency descriptions

What helps is not more communication—but better communication. Specifically, communication that translates expectations into observable, describable behavior.

From the operationalization of social skills, we know the principle: A competence is only useful if it is described in such a way that all participants understand the same thing by it — regardless of whether they are currently at level 1 or level 5 of their development.

An example: personal responsibility, reliability & self-organization

Actively takes responsibility for their own work, reliably keeps their promises, and organizes themselves independently — with the goal of delivering outcomes, not just output.

That still sounds like an appeal. Only the behavioral anchors make it concrete.

Level 1 — Reliable Base

• Meets deadlines or proactively contacts the relevant authorities if there are any delays

• Confirms or declines appointments

• Regularly updates own tasks and status

• Plan absences in such a way as to avoid any unnecessary surprises.

Stage 3 — Outcome Driver

• Define clear success criteria before starting a task (What exactly does "done" mean?)

• Question your own contribution: What outcome does my work actually produce?

• Consistently brings initiated initiatives to a successful conclusion

Level 5 — Systemic Designer

• Identifies structural barriers to personal responsibility and actively addresses them

• Empowers others to take ownership of complex topics

• Explicitly links individual responsibility with overarching corporate goals

What this means for leadership practice

Behavior-based competency descriptions solve three problems simultaneously:

• They make the one-sided contract visible — by transferring the expectation from the manager's mind to a shared document that can be discussed.

• They enable a shared vocabulary — managers and employees talk about the same thing when they talk about “personal responsibility”.

• They create a development orientation instead of pressure to evaluate — because they don't say "you are good or bad", but "here you stand, here you could grow".

The crucial step for managers: no longer ask "Why isn't he/she delivering?", but "Have I really made clear what I expect — in concrete, observable behavior?"

Conclusion

Expectations that exist only in the leader's mind are not leadership—they are a source of constant mutual disappointment. The way out is not easy, but it is clear: make expectations explicit, translate them into behavior, consistently promote them—and repeat until they are truly realized.

Download